05/20/2019

Do you know how much it fucking hurts
To know you were fake as all hell from the beginning
That you were ready to drop me when I needed you most
When I wanted to make everything right
Did you even know me? I mean as a person? Like an actual fucking person
Not just my titles, the color of my skin, my possessions, what this body and mind have accomplished?
It's all nothing
I'm so disappointed in you
You could have had it all
I was going to give my entire life to you
But I guess you left my life
For a really fucking good reason
Because you didn't deserve any of it
You didn't deserve me
For who I am
Because the future is right ahead
And I feel sorry for you
But I don't want you to suffer
But it's unavoidable anyway

What's This? A Spark?

You make me so happy
But you bring me so much pain
But I don't care because I love you
I will always love you

Suicide

In a sense, I already committed suicide.
The new me lives on in his stead.
All the old me's had their time.
And it's ever onward.

It's My Life, It's Now Or Never

Have you ever felt so pathetic
so fucking pathetic
How can they decide your life for you
When they don't even know themselves and what they're doing
How can you ever let anyone decide anything for you
It's your life
Just leave me alone

I don't know why I do this to myself.
I die a little each time.
Why am I so stupid?
Every time I see your face
It makes me want to tear myself to shreds.
There's a new face now.
There are so many new faces.
I'm living through Hell before I died.
Or maybe I already died, and this is Hell.
Oh well. Haha

I'm 😄 So 😄 Fucking 😄 Happy